The Way of Perfection · 4 of 46

Chapter 4: She speaks on observing their rule, and on three things which conduce to a spiritual life

NOW, daughters, you have seen the great design we undertake to perform. How perfect then ought we to be, so that in the eyes of God and of the world we may not be considered very presumptuous? It is evident we must labour hard; and for this object, to have noble thoughts is of great assistance, that we may force ourselves to make our works correspond with them. Now if we endeavour, with great diligence, to observe our Rule and Constitutions punctually, I hope in our Lord that He will hear our prayers. I request no new thing of you, my daughters, but only to observe our profession – since it is our vocation, and we are obliged thereto, though in the observance of it there is a great difference.

Our first rule tells us “to pray without ceasing.” Now if we observe this with all possible care, it being a matter of the greatest consequence, we shall not neglect to observe the fasts, disciplines, and silence commanded by the Order: for you know well, that our prayers must be assisted by these, in order to be proper prayers, since delicacy and prayer cannot agree with each other. You have desired me to say something to you on the subject of prayer; and I desire you, in return for what I shall say, to practise, and very willingly often to read over what I have hitherto said. But before I speak of the interior, which is prayer, I will mention some things necessary to be observed by those who intend to walk along the road of prayer; and so necessary are they that should they observe them, they may advance very far in the service of our Lord, even though the persons should not be very contemplative – but without them, it is impossible to be very contemplative: and if they should fancy they are so, they are greatly mistaken. May our Lord assist me herein, and teach me what I should say, that it may be for His glory. Amen.

Think not, my friends and sisters, that I will lay many things upon you: our Lord grant, that we may perform those duties which our holy fathers commanded and observed, who thereby merited this name; it would be an error to seek it by any other way. Three things only I will explain at large, which belong to the same Constitution, because it is of the utmost importance for us to understand how highly we are concerned in observing them, if we wish to obtain, both interiorly and exteriorly, that peace which our Lord recommended to us so much. The first is, love one for another; secondly, a disengagement from every creature; thirdly, true humility; which, though I name it last, is the most important of all, and includes all the rest.

With regard to the first, it is very important to love one another tenderly, for there is no grievance which is not easily borne, among those who mutually love each other, and that must be something extraordinary which displeases them. Hence, were this commandment observed in the world, as it ought to be, I believe it would conduce much towards enabling us to observe the rest: but because we offend against it, either by excess or by the contrary, we never come to practise it with perfection.

It may seem, that amongst us an excess herein can do no harm; whereas it brings with it so much mischief, and so many imperfections, that I am confident people will not believe it, those only excepted who have been witnesses thereof. Here the devil spreads many nets, which, in consciences that strive to please God imperfectly, are scarcely discerned – nay, they think it to be virtue. But they who aim at perfection clearly perceive it, since by degrees it deprives the will of its strength, lest it should be totally employed in loving God. This, I think, happens to women oftener than to men, and it does very considerable injury to the community. Hence proceeds our not loving all the rest so much – resenting an injury done to one’s friend – desiring to have something to treat her with – watching an opportunity of discoursing with her, and often rather to express her affection for her, together with other acts of foolishness, than to show her love for God. These close friendships seldom conduce in helping us to love God more; rather, I believe, the devil is the cause of them, in order to raise factions in religious Orders; for when it is to serve His Majesty, it seems immediately that our will is not influenced with passion, but only procures assistance for subduing the other passions. Of these friendships I would have many, where the convent is large: but in this house, where there are not – and must not be – more than thirteen sisters, all should be friends alike; all should mutually love each other, wish well to all, help one another. For the love of God, let them avoid these particular friendships, however holy they may be; for this poison is accustomed to creep in even among brothers, and if they be relations, it is much worse – it is a pestilence. Believe me, sisters, for though what I say may appear extreme, in it consist great perfection and great peace; and many occasions of sin are removed from those who are not very strong. But if our will incline more to one than to another, (and it cannot be otherwise, for it is natural; and often we are induced to love what is base, if we possess more gifts of nature), let us stop the evil carefully, and not suffer ourselves to be overcome by that affection.

Let us love virtue and a good interior, and use all care and diligence to prevent ourselves from making any account of the exterior. Let us not consent, O sisters! for our will to become a slave to any one, but to Him who has purchased it with His own blood: otherwise consider, that without knowing how, you will find yourselves tied fast, and you will not be able to escape. Good God! the fooleries that spring hence are innumerable. Now, that so many imperfections of women may not be divulged, and that those who do not know them may not hear of them, I forbear mentioning them in detail (but I am indeed sometimes astonished to see them), since, through the goodness of God, I was never much entangled in them. But, as I have said, I have often seen this, and I fear it happens in most monasteries, for in some I have observed it; and I know that it prevents strict discipline and perfection, and is an evil most dangerous in all persons: but in superiors it would be a very plague – this I have already mentioned. But in cutting off these partialities, great care is required in the first beginnings of such friendship, and it is to be done rather by industry and love, than by severity. And as a remedy, it is highly important not to be together, except at the times appointed; nor to talk, conformably to the custom now observed by us; which is, not to be together (as the rule enjoins), but for every one to be apart in her cell. Let them be cautious in St. Joseph’s, of having a common work-room; since though it be a laudable custom, yet silence is observed better by each one being alone. Being accustomed to solitude is a great help to prayer; and since this is to be the foundation of the house, and we are assembled here more for this object than for anything else, it is necessary we should carefully love that which conduces the most thereto.

To return then to the mutual love we ought to have one for another, it seems almost useless to recommend it; for who can be so foolish and mad as not to love one another, when they are always conversing with each other, living in society together, not allowed to have any intercourse, or conversations, or recreations with persons out of the house, and believing that God loves them, and they Him, since for His Majesty they have left all things, and they see especially that virtue always attracts love? Now this, through God’s mercy, I hope in His Majesty, will always continue in this house; hence, in my opinion, there is not much need of recommending this mutual charity. But how this love is to proceed; what the virtuous love is which I desire should be found here, by what signs we may discover whether we possess this great virtue (and it is very great indeed, since our Lord has so strongly recommended it to us) – on these points I will now say a little, according to my dulness. But if you find the subject better expressed in other books, you need not take any notice of mine, for I do not perhaps understand what I say.

There are two kinds of love of which I speak: one is purely spiritual, so that neither sensuality, nor any tenderness of our nature, seem in any way to mingle therewith, so as to take away its purity. The other is spiritual: but with it, sensuality and weakness show themselves. Now this love is good, and seems lawful – the same as that of friends and kindred; of this something has already been said. I will speak at present of that which is purely spiritual, without the intervention of any passion. If passion once creep in, this harmony will soon be destroyed: but if we exercise the love I speak of with moderation and discretion, all will be meritorious; for that which may seem to us sensuality, changes into virtue; though it is so intermixed, that sometimes we can scarcely discern it, especially if we like some confessor: for if persons given to prayer see that he is a holy man who understands their ways, they have a great affection for him. And here the devil raises a great battery of scruples, that quite distract the soul: this is his aim, especially if the confessor guide her to greater perfection; he harasses her so much, that through such scruples she leaves her confessor, and she has no repose either with one or another.

In such a case, that which they can do is, to endeavour not to think about their loving or not loving: but if they love – let them do so; for if we love any one that does some good to our body, why may we not have an affection for one who is always endeavouring and labouring to benefit our soul? I rather consider it a good beginning for great advancement to love one’s confessor, if he be a holy and spiritual person, and I see that he takes pains to do good to my soul; because such is our weakness, that sometimes he assists us much in enabling us to perform very great things in the service of God.

If the confessor be not such a one as I have mentioned, here lies the danger, viz., that as he perceives they bear an affection to him, this may do very great harm, and the more so in houses of strict enclosure than in others. And because it is difficult to know who is so good, great care and prudence are required. It would be the best plan, to prevent his knowing that they love him, and not to tell him of it. But the devil so artfully entangles their soul – that he does not give them this power, for all imagine this is the chief thing to be confessed, and that they are bound to confess it. For this reason, I had much rather they would believe it to be nothing, and take no notice of it. Let them follow this advice; if they perceive in the confessor that all his discourses tend to the improvement of their souls; and if they observe no vanity in him (which is soon discovered by one who is not willing to be stupid) but find that he fears God, let them not trouble themselves about any temptation they may have respecting any immoderate affection; but let them despise it and turn away their eyes from it; for when the devil is weary he will leave them. But if they discover the confessor to be addicted to any vanity, let them suspect everything; and though his discourse may be good, let them on no account hold any with him; but confess in few words and then depart. The best way would be to acquaint the superioress that her soul does not get on well with him, and so he might be changed for another. This would be the most prudent course, could it be done without injuring his reputation. In such cases, and others like them, which the devil by his intrigues can entangle in difficult occasions, and where one knows not what advice to adopt, the surest course will be to consult some learned person (and when there is a necessity, this liberty is granted), and to confess to him, and to do what he directs in the case; because since some remedy must of necessity be used, a great error might otherwise be committed. How many errors happen in the world, through things not being done with advice, especially in what relates to our not injuring another? We must not neglect, therefore, to apply some remedy, because when the devil begins here, it is for no small object – unless he be stopped immediately. Thus what I have said about consulting another confessor is the safest course, if there be an opportunity (as I trust in God there will), and to use every exertion to have nothing to do with the other, though we should even die for it.

Consider how important this is; for it is a very dangerous thing – it is a hell – and ruin to all. I wish them not to wait till they discover so much evil, but to stop it in the beginning by all possible ways they know of; they may do so with a safe conscience. But I hope in God, that He will not suffer persons who are always to be employed in prayer to be able to have any affection, save for one who is a great servant of God; or else that they exercise not prayer, nor aim at perfection, conformably to what is here intended; because if they see that he does not understand their language, nor is delighted with discoursing of God, they cannot love him, because he is so unlike them. If he be such a one, on account of the very few occasions he will meet with here, either he will prove very simple, or not desire to trouble himself, or the servants of God. Since I have begun to speak on this subject, know that this is all, or the greatest harm which the devil can bring on monasteries enclosed, and it is very late before the discovery can be made: and thus perfection goes to ruin, without our knowing how; for if the confessor give way to vanity, through being vain himself, he will consider it but a slight matter in others. May God, by the goodness of His Majesty, deliver us from such things. They are enough to disturb all the nuns, for their conscience tells them differently from what their confessor does; and if they be tied to have only one, they know not what to do, nor how to rest, since he who should free them from trouble and relieve them is the very person that causes it. These misplaced affections are, no doubt, found in some places, and on this account I have great pity for the persons; and hence you need not wonder that I employ so much care in making you understand this danger.