The Way of Perfection · 12 of 46

Chapter 12: She shows how the true lover of god must despise life and honour

I WILL now speak on other subjects, which are also very important, though they may seem of little consequence. All appears to be great labour, and justly so, because it is a war against ourselves; but when we begin to act, God works so powerfully in the soul, and grants her so many favours – that all which can be done in this life seems but little. Now since we nuns do the most, such as giving away our liberty for the love of God, subjecting to another’s power, and enduring so much labour, fasting, silence, enclosure, and frequenting the choir, so that were we ever so desirous of regaling ourselves, this could be done but seldom; and perhaps I am the only person that does it, in all the monasteries which I have seen; why then, I ask, must we be so slow in mortifying the interior, since without this practice we cannot properly perform all the rest, which thereby becomes much more perfect and meritorious, and we are afterwards able to go through those duties with great ease and delight? This is acquired if we accustom ourselves by little and little – not to do our own will and follow our own appetite, even in very trifling things, until we have completely made the body subject to the spirit. I say again, that all, or the greatest part, consists in throwing off all care of ourselves and of our own pleasure; for the least which he can offer, who begins to serve God in earnest – is his life, after he has already given up his will to Him. And in giving Him this, what are you afraid of? If he be a true Religious, or one truly given to prayer, and wishes to enjoy Divine consolations, I know he will not refuse desiring to die for Him, and to suffer crosses. Do you not know, sisters, that the life of a good Religious, of one who wishes to be numbered among the intimate friends of God, is a long martyrdom? I call it “long,” because it may be called so in comparison with those who are beheaded in an instant: but our whole life is short, and some lives are extremely short. And is it not uncertain whether our life may be so short as to end an hour hence, or in the very moment that we have resolved to serve God with all our strength? It is possible; and after all, we have no reason to make any account of that which has an end, and much less of life, since one day of it is not certain. And who is there that, remembering every hour may be his last, will not spend it in labour?

Believe me then, these thoughts give the most security; let us therefore learn to contradict our own will in everything; for though we cannot do this all at once, yet by using diligence with prayer (as I have said) – you will by little and little attain this object, without knowing how. It may indeed seem very severe to say, that we must not please ourselves in anything, because the delights which this denial brings with it, and likewise the benefits which we obtain therefrom, even in this life, are not also mentioned. But as you practise all this here, the chief difficulty is got over: excite, therefore, and help one another forward, and let each one endeavour to outstrip the rest.

Let your interior motions be strictly observed, especially if they concern desires of superiority. May the merits of Christ’s passion deliver us from saying, or dwelling on the thought, that I am the senior in the order, or the oldest, or that I have laboured more (than others), or that another is better treated. If these thoughts come, they must be smothered immediately; for if you dwell upon them, or discourse about them, they will become a very plague, and from this arise great evils in monasteries. If you have a superioress who will allow such things, however trifling they may be, believe that God has permitted you, on account of your sins, to have such an one, and that by her your ruin will commence: cry, therefore, to God, and let all your prayers have this end, that you may obtain a remedy for such great danger.

You may ask, why I insist so much on this, and you may think it is too severe, since God caresses even those who are not thus disengaged. I believe this also, because in His infinite wisdom He sees it expedient, to induce them thereby to abandon all things for His sake. If one enters into religion, I do not call that forsaking all things, because even there a person may have attachments; while on the other hand, in every state of life, a perfect soul may be disengaged, and be humble; yet she will have more difficulty, because order and retirement are great helps. But in one point believe me, that if there be any hankering after honours or riches (and this may happen in monasteries as well as in the world, though Religious by being removed from the occasions are more to be blamed), although they may have spent many years in prayer, or to speak more correctly, in speculation (for perfect prayer takes away all these defects), they will never make any great progress, nor be able to enjoy the true fruit of prayer.

Consider, sisters, if you are in any way concerned in these apparent trifles, for you are here for nothing else [but to conduct yourselves as Religious]. You are not more honoured by seeking honour, and the opportunity is lost whereby you might gain much more; thus loss and dishonour are here united. Let each one observe how much humility she has, and she will discover how much she has improved. I think the devil will never dare to tempt one who is truly humble, even with the first motions to desire superiority, because being very crafty, he fears a blow might be given him. If one be humble, it is impossible not to gain more strength and improvement in this virtue, if the devil should attack her on this point; for it is evident she will reflect on her whole life, and consider what little service she has done, together with her great obligations to our Lord, and what wonderful love it was in Him to abase Himself, that so He might leave us an example of humility; and she will also consider her sins, and where she has deserved to be for them. By these considerations the soul becomes so victorious, that the enemy dare not return the next day for fear of a broken head.

Take this advice from me, and do not forget it; endeavour that not only in the interior, where it would be a great evil not to come off with victory, but in the exterior also, the sisters may derive some benefit from the temptation; and if you wish to be revenged on the devil, as soon as the temptation comes, discover it to the superioress, and beg and entreat of her to command you to perform some mean employment, or else perform it yourself as well as you can, and be thinking how to subdue your will in things to which it is averse, and which our Lord will discover to you; you might also make use of public mortifications, since they are practised in this house. By these means, the temptation will last but a short time, and do you endeavour that this may be the case. May God deliver us from those persons who wish to serve Him, from motives of honour, or through fear of dishonour. Consider that it is a poor wretched gain; and as I said, honour itself is lost by seeking it, especially in desiring high posts of honour, for there is no poison in the world which so effectually destroys perfection as these things do.

You will say, “These are very trifling things, which are natural to every one.” Do not deceive yourselves by such a pretext, for it increases like froth in monasteries, and nothing is trifling in such imminent danger, such as these points of honour, and noticing when we are injured. Do you wish to know the reason? Without mentioning many other reasons, there is this: perhaps the devil begins by a little affront offered to one, which is almost nothing; then he immediately persuades another to think it is a great offence, so that she will consider it a charity to tell her of it, and to ask how she can possibly endure such an injury? She hopes God will give her patience, that she should offer it up to Him, and that a saint could not suffer more.

In a word, the devil so poisons the tongue of the other, that though you may be resolved to suffer, yet you are still tempted with vain glory on account of that which you have not borne with such perfection as you ought. And our nature is so weak, that even when we have cut off the occasion of a temptation by saying, “This does not deserve the name of suffering;” yet we think we have done something, and feel this: how much more when we see others have a like feeling in our regard! It makes our pain increase, and persuades us we have reason, and the soul loses all the opportunities she had of meriting, and becomes weaker; and we give the devil an entrance to come and attack us another time with some worse temptation. It may even happen that, when you are most willing to bear it, persons may come and ask you, whether you are a beast, and that it is proper to feel wrongs and insults. O! for the love of God, my sisters, let no indiscreet charity move any one to show compassion for another, in matters relating to these imaginary injuries; for it is like that charity which holy Job received from his wife and friends.